Susannah Spurgeon was married to Charles Spurgeon, the so-called prince of preachers, an evangelist, a very famous and busy man. During their engagement, Susie realized what it was like to be married to a man of God, she wrote about one particular event where they were invited and as they were entering the venue, a swarm of people began surrounding Charles and soon she was left behind. Devastated, she left the venue, went home and cried to her mom.
She felt alone. She felt she wasn’t his priority.
The following words were an excerpt of what Susie’s mom told her:
“She wisely reasoned that my chosen husband was no ordinary man, that his whole life was absolutely dedicated to God and His service, and that I must never, never hinder him by trying to put myself first in his heart.”
These words have been on mind since then. Married to an evangelist myself, I must admit that I share the same experience with Susie. There are times when I felt like people demand too much from my husband and that during public events, I sometimes feel like his shadow, waiting for him to finish his conversations with people. I also felt isolated and alone and sadly during those times, I also felt that I wasn’t his priority.
But, none of these were true of course.
My husband loves me, he would always look after me and our children. And, whenever he was invited to speak or go to a certain event or travel far, he would always ask if it’s okay with me especially when I have to be left behind to take care of our children. There are times, sad but true, that I became so selfish and ask him to stay with me (just because I want us to be together). He would.
But in 3 years of our marriage, God taught me something about being married to a man of God:
My husband was called to serve the Lord and God intends for me, as his wife, to be his HELPMEET
*[[Gen 2:18]] KJV* And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
ESV: “a helper fit for him”
It’s interesting to see God’s concern for man in this verse. He created a helper for him so he wouldn’t be alone.
A. A helpmeet prays for her husband
Being in the ministry can take a toll on our husbands. Though surrounded by people, they can still feel alone. Charles Spurgeon dealt with depression, but what kept him going besides God’s grace? His helpmeet, his wife. Susie may not be able to travel with Charles all the time because of their children and her illness but she made sure to pray for her husband always. Dear wife, praying for your husband is your strongest ministry towards him, don’t take it for granted.
B. A helpmeet submits to her husband
The ministry is already a huge responsibility for my husband, and what an added burden it is for him if I continually demand for his time and force him to submit to what I want instead. Ephesians 5:22-24
C. A helpmeet serves with her husband
I remember during one of our counseling sessions before getting married, Ptr. Jun asked us if we both have a calling and I thought we both do. 😂
It was my husband who has a calling, and being his helpmeet, I am to support him in whatever the Lord calls him to do.
We have two wonderful daughters now and we’ve decided that I will be left (again) during this year’s ministry travel to take care of them. Does that mean I am not serving the Lord because I will be staying home while he travels to share the Gospel to the youth around the Philippines?
I’ve learned over the years that serving the Lord does not always mean being out there, it’s fulfilling His purpose for me. I am serving the Lord with my husband by attending to the needs of our children at home, this takes off a huge burden from him knowing that his children are safe and are taken care of. Remember the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31?
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. V.11
It also means serving my husband first and foremost, making our home a place of rest and an avenue for him to unload his burdens. Being his wife, it is a privilege to serve Him by showering Him with love and care. Our time alone is a wonderful chance for him to step away from the busyness of the ministry and just enjoy each other’s company.
D. A helpmeet shares her husband’s passion
There was a specific phrase that caught my attention while reading a book about the Pastor’s wife and it is this, “the pastor’s wife shares her husband with other people” and though uncomfortable as I am trying to comprehend it, it actually is true in some sense.
My husband loves people, his passion for sharing the Gospel to others is evident in his life. Being an evangelist and a pastor, people would always be around him. He is a natural in speaking in public. I, on the other hand, am quite the opposite. I’m not good at public speaking or even engaging in conversations. I can better express my thoughts through writing(like now) 😂. This is why being in conferences or other events with him makes me scared and even uncomfortable at times.
Sometimes I even get jealous when he spends a lot of time with others. Haha
But one thing that I’ve learned through this marriage is that God brought us together to help each other grow in areas that would be beneficial for both of us and the ministry where we are called.
Though I am having a hard time to express myself, that shouldn’t hinder me from sharing my husband’s passion for other people, it shouldn’t be a reason for me to be a distraction to my husband’s calling. It takes time, my husband is a wonderful encourager especially regarding this, he helps me overcome my fears.
The result is a wonderful privilege to pour out God’s love to others as partners in the ministry.
Isn’t it an amazing opportunity to be a helper fit for our husbands? Especially to those who are called to the ministry?
I, for one, am sticking to what I said in my vow on our wedding day. It is an honor and a privilege to be called his wife. To be his helpmeet in the ministry he is called into.
God bless us all and may He find us wives faithful to our purpose until He calls us home.